25 April 2009

Directors that should stop making movies

Sometimes you do retrospective on works of specific director, one that's making movies for a long time, and you can't miss the striking difference between the quality of his early works and the current garbage he produces.
But he keeps doing his thing, he keeps flooding us with his abominations year after year. So how about I'll mention number of such directors, that should do us all a favor and just stop whatever they're doing. Retire to your country house already.
Now, before I'll continue, this is only my opinion and I write it here for dramatic purposes only. There is no need to be insulted and take it personally if I say something bad about director that you like. Ok? Try to take it with a sense of humor. Besides, some of them are my favorite directors too.

Woody Allen

Started: mid 60's with small and silly, yet interesting comedies.
Golden age: Annie Hall (1977) to Crimes and Misdemeanors (1989). I can't believe he was actually a sex symbol for many women. Right after that he was in decline, with only rare worthy films.
Should have stopped: Right after Deconstructing Harry (1997) and continue writing scripts for someone else to direct.

These Pretzels are making me thirsty!

Ridley Scott

Started: mid 60's, directing stuff for TV.
Golden age: The Duellists (1977), Alien (1979) and Blade Runner (1982). After that he sold himself out and started to make most ugliest mainstream ever.
Should have stopped: Right after Blade Runner, and never make any other movie again his entire life.

Wake up! Time to die!

Luc Besson

Started: 1983 with brilliant The Last Combat.
Golden age: From that first film and till The Fifth Element (1997). After that, his work as producer completely destroyed him.
Should have stopped: Although he produced number of quite good flicks, as director he was suppose to stop after marrying that girl with orange hair.

Bring me the priest

Emir Kusturica

Started: 1978, directing for TV.
Golden age: Do You Remember Dolly Bell? (1981) to Black Cat, White Cat (1998). During this time he created some of the greatest films in cinema history.
Should have stopped: right after Black Cat, White Cat. Whatever he did since then was completely unnecessary.

I'm not going to die. I'm going to live forever until one day I wake up.

Oliver Stone
No, no. That is Katherine Heigl's boobs, Oliver Stone is the drunk dude behind her. Come on, just look away, slowly eyes up and to the right. Here we go. See how drunk he is and how funny his face looks like? You see, you see? Ok, now you can go back and look at her boobs again. Nice....

Started: in the beginning of 70's with some low budget horror and short films. Haven't seen any of them, but knowing early Stone, I would say these films have some political content and father figure issues.
Golden age: Salvador (1986) to Natural Born Killers (1994). Fast decline since then.
Should have stopped: After average U Turn (1997). It was already clear back then that he just lost it.

Hey, I'm sorry buddy - I thought I was, uh, shooting at that son-of-a-bitch Kennedy.

David Lynch

Started: mid 60's with number of disturbing short films.
Golden age: Eraserhead (1977) to Mulholland Dr. (2001). One of my favorite directors of all times.
Should have stopped: After Mulholland Dr.
Mad genius Lynch lately became just Mad. Please stop, Mr. Lynch, no more.

Harry, I have no idea where this will lead us, but I have a definite feeling it will be a place both wonderful and strange.

David Cronenberg

Started: mid 60's, with some really experimental and almost unwatchable short films. I've seen some of them and it is both beautiful and awful.
Golden age: Shivers (1975) to eXistenZ (1999). Another favorite of mine, I've watched all his movies, even totally unrelated Fast Company (1979) and that episode for TV series Friday the 13th that he directed.
Should have stopped: Right after Spider (2002), which was oddly bad. Sorry, but his recently complete change of style is not for me. Whatever he is doing now just sucks.

Death to Videodrome! Long live The New flesh!

Honorable mentions (directors that I don't like in the first place):

Ron Haward: Never liked his movies. Ransom was nice, but that wasn't because of him.

Spike Lee: His time was up long time ago.

Brett Ratner: First Rush Hour was somehow bearable and even entertaining, but I don't understand how is that possible that he continued to make movies after the second one.

Bobby and Peter Farrelly (aka Farrelly brothers): Lord, have mercy on us all.

[Edit]: Adding Mr Joseph McGinty Nichol to the list. Better known as McG, he just doesn't have the required cinematic mind, no idea how to turn moving images into true cinema. I don't think he watched many films in his life, please don't give him more opportunities to direct them.


Ok. Now to even the score, how about I'll mention number of directors that deserve to continue and make more and more movies. Hollywood execs, please pay attention. These are the people you should give more money and more often.

Mel Gibson: As South Park guys said it "Say what you want about Mel Gibson, but the son of a bitch knows story structure".

Rian Johnson: Brick was fantastic, and upcoming The Brothers Bloom will be cult classic for sure. I want more. Scratch that. The Brothers Bloom was very disappointing, like he has no idea what he is doing.

David Fincher: I don't need to explain this one.

Spike Jonze: See you next year at Oscars.

Tom Tykwer
: One of best European directors right now.

Martin Scorsese
: After 50 years in business, he is constantly on the top.

Steven Spielberg: The world will be very empty place if he stops directing and producing movies. People take him for granted, or look down upon him as an artist, but they don't realize how important he is.

Michael Bay: Surprise! I bet you didn't expect this one, did you? I used to hate him for his awful garbage, but lately he is getting smarter and suddenly his movies are getting better. And by that I mean they are not incredibly annoying anymore.
I also admire him for his dedication to shoot on location with real explosions and real destruction of property. He is more old school than all these new guys that only shoot films in studios with green screens all around. I would really like to see more of him.

Anyway, keep making movies.


  1. Nice list, but just to nag on a little one. I think you're being pretty harsh on Ridley Scott, and I'm not sure what you mean by "mainstream" (Blade Runner was pretty "mainstream"). You didn't like Black Hawk Down, Gladiator, American Gangster, or Kingdom of Heaven?

    I gotta give it to the guy, he knows how to direct action. Maybe his shift to action movies, I guess, is your issue?

  2. I think my contempt to Scott's films is more personal. And by that I don't mean that I have something against him personally.

    What I mean is, that my personal perception of arts, life, reality, is very different from what he tries to say in his films, from how his characters think and talk, from what themes he is trying to present. Also his technical work, the way he prefers to shoot scenes, the way he builds a plot structure for his movies, the dramatic and emotional emphasizes he chooses, his whole semantic language.
    I can't stand it, it's like you always know a person that you just dislike with no particular reason, just by looking at him. You know what I mean?

    His Gladiator I actually named as most overrated film of all times in one of my posts about 5 most overrated and 5 most underrated films. Look it up in search if you want.

    Some of his movies I didn't see on purpose, but the ones I did see confirmed my feelings. I haven't seen Gangster or Kingdom, the vibe I got from trailers prevented me to see them. I did see Matchstick Men, Body of Lies, Hannibal, GI Jane, Thelma and Louise and more, and they were as annoying for me as I thought they will be. And I am talking about watching them over the course of many years, not in one week.
    And the interesting part of it all, is that I get even bigger nausea as time passes.
    While you slowly forgetting the movie, you still remain a fragmental memories as a residue, an aftertaste. And for me, with his films and also with Nolan's films, it's really bad one.

  3. What? Aaron Seltzer and jason Friedberg (Date Movie, Epic Movie, Meet the Spartans etc.) aren't up there? Those fuckers need to be shot in the head.

  4. As you can understand from the list, I do not deal here with small fish. Same as Wayans brothers or Uwe Boll. They do not really bother me because I don't watch their movies anyway.
    Unlike Farrelly bros, that did some big and popular movies with big stars, they are not a factor for me.

  5. Thomas McCarthy should make more movies too - The Station Agent and The Visitor were hugely underrated

  6. I've heard about these films, although I still didn't get a chance to watch them.

  7. Ridley Scott ?????? u gotta be joking...I still re-watch Gladiator & Kingdom of Heaven as I watch Alien & Blade Runner

    and what about Luc Besson's "Léon" (Probably the most famous movie of his ) & Nikita ? )which is a damn good movie IMHO)

  8. As I said in comments above, Ridley Scott it's personal. I can't stop you from liking his films.

    And regarding Luc Besson remark, both mentioned films were made before The Fifth Element, making them part of his golden age. Do you know what golden age means?

  9. hey yeah hi, did we forget m night shamalyn cause 6rh sense awesome, unbreakable not so much, signs wasnt worth the effort, the village holy god what a bomb, lady in the water was just epic crap, and then there was the happening im not even going to mention how bad that was, if the last airbender isnt a success he should give up

    ps. i just read that they are making an unbreakable sequel, quick question WHO THE HELL KEEPS GIVING HIM MONEY?!?!?!?

  10. Well, Shyamalan is just having bad luck because he was stuck on the same thing from the start, instead of moving on. So he is a victim of circumstances, as director he is still good.
    I don't think he should stop, especially when teaser for Airbender looks so sweet. He was just off the wave, he'll be on again.

  11. How about Roland Emmerich? Since The Patriot he is turning to be more and more annoying...

  12. Emmerich is indeed a solid candidate, and he should have never start making movies from the beginning.

    But I have to give him a credit - no other director destroyed the Earth so many times. Lets give him another chance with upcoming 2012.